Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
What drink are we having for lunch?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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