We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
