if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
