Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize