Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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