R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize