youre lurking in front of me
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
