i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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