any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Randomize
