Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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