The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
