So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize