Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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