It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
