Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
