My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
