what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Please don't give away my fajitas
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