i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
