Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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