That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
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