I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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