Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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