3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
