worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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