This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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