Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
