please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
