Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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