Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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