He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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