My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
