I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
