Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Holy shit dude........stairs
This toilet bowl is my home.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
