i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
