she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Boobs speak an international language.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm just crazy horny about you
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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