I am in a vortex of obligation.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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