Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
