Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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