How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I love having hate sex.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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