it hurts more in the daytime
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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