If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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