Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
ok first of all what the fuck
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
