dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
