ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
