And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
