She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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