Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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