i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
