Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
