So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
