i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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