Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
