I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
