So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
