You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize