this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
