Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
