morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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