don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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