Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
