I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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