omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
